A recent “study,” and I use the term loosely, attracted a lot of attention with its finding that iPhone users are delusional. “Released” by a Danish organization “Strand Consult,” the study uses, among other things, a list of faults of the iPhone that users have had to force themselves to overlook, (citing the earliest models whenever possible) to make its point. A report on Strand’s site points out, for example:

2. The phone cannot send MMS: There is no need to send MMSs, hardly anybody sends MMSs.

Of course the current phone can send MMS, but it was necessary to refer to the original phone to make this particular point, and most others. And like so many new products, even those that have no innovation whatsoever, the early iPhone lacked certain features, which came along on later models.

My father once suggested that I write my next book on the subject of “all of those people with their faces buried in their iPhones” who were obsessed with their phones. I replied, “I have a better idea. I’m going to write about you and all those weirdos obsessed with their toasters. Why is it that you use the same toaster every day? It’s a little creepy.”

Seriously, the toaster cult is far more pervasive than the iPhone cult. And like iPhone users, toaster people are delusional. They’ve conditioned themselves to ignore the toaster’s obvious shortcomings:

  1. Improperly adjusted, it can burn the toast
  2. It fills with a toxic waste material called “crumbs”
  3. If you stick a knife in it to retrieve a jammed piece of toast, or more likely a bagel, you could get killed
  4. It does not send MMS. It does not allow incoming calls. It has no cut-and-paste

The study is obviously meant to be humorous. But you should still watch out for gadget zombies.