Twitter has no rules. That’s what I keep hearing from people who think they are the vanguard of a new movement. Don’t believe it. There are rules EVERYWHERE.

Twitter has its Twitter Rules, its Harassment and Violent Threats Policy, and many other rules that apply to all users. These are written rules. But that’s not what I’m talking about.

Twitter has dozens of unwritten rules. If you copy and paste someone else’s tweet, you should give credit with an RT or a “via.” And you shouldn’t tweet that all your followers are dumbasses. It’s not nice.

People who routinely insult, snub, and inflict harm on others are not thought highly of in our society. Is there a written contract by which we agree not to tell a loved one they’re fat? No, but we generally don’t do it. It’s a rule. These are not my theories. They are truths for the majority of people.

The classic defense for narcissistic Twitter behavior goes like this: “Twitter is an opt-in environment. If you don’t like how I behave, unfollow me.” This is nonsensical. It is an attitude that denies the simple fact that civilized people are socialized. Throughout out lives we learn that there are rules governing how we behave toward others. As children, we’re taught to share, not to insult people, to be kind. These lessons extend well into adulthood, and the very smartest among us never stop learning.

Rules and laws are not the same thing. Is there a law against showing up drunk for a job interview? No. Is there a rule against it? Absolutely. It’s unwritten, but it’s a rule nonetheless. This idea of a rules-free world is a philosophy you can imagine someone in a restaurant shouting into their iPhone.

Sometimes experts (real or imagined) codify these rules in an attempt to help others navigate the tricky waters of ever-changing manners and social interaction. Am I pretending to be an expert if I share a few of these rules?

If you’re of a certain age, you read Dr. Benjamin Spock’s baby book, or maybe you read T. Berry Brazelton. These books contain societal rules. Few would argue there are no rules for raising children. “Put child-proof pulls on your knife drawer,” is a universal rule. If your personal Kitchen Bill of Rights prevents you from doing this, you might want to sacrifice your God-given freedom just this once so your kids don’t die.

And so it goes on Twitter. Can you tweet anything you want? Sure. But socialization is not about doing whatever you want. It’s about getting what you need, and taking care not to harm others. I guarantee the Free Twitteristas are insulting people, alienating them, and quite likely losing real friends. That is the collateral damage of assuming there are no rules, which is the same as not caring what people think of you.