There may be ways to use technology to enhance child development but having them “play” at social networking cannot be one of them.

Wow, that site is the opposite of what any family needs. As moms have become more public, the last thing we need is to connect with our kids publicly.

When the kids are older the FIRST thing everyone tells you is to make sure you are NOT friends with your kids or their friends.

I could write a whole other post about why I’d NEVER let my 8 or 11 year old use the site, but I won’t. You hit the high notes here.

Great post.

I have to say the idea of social networking for a 6-10 year old scares the heck out of me, they have NO need for it. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and leave a comment. I appreciate that you agree with me on many points and that Togetherville was developed with these concepts in mind.

We do not have a Togetherville account, and I have not logged in and tried it. I don’t want to represent my post as a review. It is a reaction to the idea of social networking for children, Togetherville, and Walt Mossberg’s excited, breathless, technogeek coverage.

Let me try to address some of your points. Based on Walt’s column, Togetherville has some form of the ability to upload photos and the ability to make connections with strangers.

Mossberg, who claims to have seen the product, says (I quoted him in the post) “Togetherville offers young children their first taste of social networking like grown-ups, using their real-life identities (not cute avatars) and real-life relationships.” I find that downright frightening! Do you or any of the parents you surveyed think it’s a good idea to put the real-life identity of a six-year-old on the Web? I know these are supposedly private, but in light of everything that’s come out in just the past 30 days, no one reasonably believes that information held by commercial Web entities is secure.

The lack of avatars and use of real-life identities leads me to believe that children’s photos are uploaded to the site somehow.

Also, according to Mossberg, Togetherville has a kind of junior chat, a stripped down version of grownup chat that can’t help but prepare children to eventually talk to strangers. There is also a moderated means of making contact with strangers: “kids choose from several pre-set quips, including sayings that they or other kids submitted for approval. The quips can range from questions kids ask one another (‘Who saw ‘Avatar’?’) to ‘I (heart) my family.’ And rather than directly sending friend requests to other kids, children first send a request to their parents, who give their consent and send the invitation to make the connection.”

This is very similar to KinzChat available on Webkinz. I don’t want my child using either one. I don’t want her chatting online yet. Period. It’s not going to inspire her, help her grow, validate her or enrich her. I don’t care how well controlled it is.

I’m not suggesting that the use of Togetherville is an immediate threat to any child’s well-being. I simply feel that we are trying to teach children to use online tools too soon.

I thoroughly appreciate your response on so many levels. First, I commend you for monitoring commentary about Togetherville, and responding to it. Secondly, I appreciate your agreement on some of my points. Finally, you stepped up and identified yourself as a representative for Togetherville, which is, sadly, so unusual. There are comments on this blog in the last few days which are clearly from company spokespeople who did not identify themselves.

I wish you and Togetherville the very best of luck,

Joel

This is Erika from Togetherville. I appreciate your critique of our site. Reading through your points, I found myself nodding my head at (almost) everything you call for.

“They need to be taught the importance of privacy and personal space, the value of real relationships, and to be aware of their own self worth.” You also point out that technology is no substitute for parenting. And that kids shouldn’t talk to strangers online.

Our product was built because we wanted kids to do the fun things online that they normally do - play games, watch videos, create artwork - with their parents, extended family members, and real-world friends there to see and encourage them.

Most parents that we talked to while designing our product were very specific about how much time their kids were allowed to be online. For many families, it was less than an hour a week. Togetherville isn’t mean to be where kids should spend all their time (like some adults do), it’s meant to be a smart, connected solution for parents who allow their kids to be online.

I encourage you to take a look at the product. Kids are not permitted to upload videos or photos, nor do they have chat or people-search capabilities, as you claim in your review. Parents create kid accounts and then connect them to family and trusted friends. There is no way any adult or child that is not Facebook friends with a child’s parent to have any access to that child.

Thanks for the post!